Perfectly Imperfect

If it sounds familiar, that's because its also on Facebook but I like sharing this one. Enjoy


Though I was relatively pissed off at her at the time....
Kristen said write a note
so here I go....

Seeing that my day was off to seriously shitty start, what with my phone diffusing...
a sudden spontaneous rainfall
flare up of old injury
and just basically too much bullshit for one day

I decided enough was enough. People just did a guh hear bout dem parts todeh!! Even with all this pent up frustration I managed to make it through most of the day without getting too dark. Usually my solution to a shitty day would be reaching for that ever present cancer stick. Like a good neighbour a Matterhorn is there but I decided I wasn't gonna take that route today. I simply voiced my opinion when needed to and realized it was better to tell the truth than to worry about other people's feelings. Anyways if you're going to tell me to be honest with you when you are pushing my buttons and then when I call you out on your bullshit u a guh frowns we are going to have a problem. Things will not go smoothly.

It was today while "medzing" I had the most powerful epiphany I ever had. I realized NO ONE IS PERFECT. Now sum a unu probably a seh dats not rocket science but have you really realized just how perfectly imperfect you are? Its quite a bit to wrap your mind around at first but with time ( and in some cases a lot of liqour) you will grow to understand just what it means to be perfectly imperfect. I have managed to face my demons and embrace my flaws so that I can love me..for me and not for what you perceive or want me to be.

I am a very strong willed individual and I see that though people might think they're different they are in essence the same. There are two kinda of people in this world. Those that can handle me and those who are afraid. Where do you fall?

Lord knows I have tried to keep up with that image of what people want me to be...which may be more sensitive, less of a bitch and less outspoken. Now I realize that there are times when sensitivity is necessary but sometimes you niggas want too much! Being less of a bitch is not as hard as I may make it look. I can be very nice but I can also be so mean when I wanna be (8) I am capable of really anything I can cut you into pieces(8).

However....its not until you accept yourself for who you are then you will be happy. So as of now though I will try to change the flaws that cut others the deepest, there will forever be some flaws that make me who I am.

I Realized

There comes a time in life when you realize who really matters and who never did. People who are truly tour friends and those that aren't. My mother used to say "No one has the ability to affect you like your friends." She also ensured me that friends, though great to have are not a necessity. There have been times in my life where I have done so much for friends all so that they can stab me in the back. And sometimes even the front, right in my face. When you put your all into a friendship it sometimes hurts to find out that you're the only one that's trying.

I had a friend that I met through another friend which I'm not friends with anymore. Get it? Anyway, me and this friend grew incredibly close and before you knew it we were inseparable. I would make an effort to be at every party, chill time, hang out, road trip there was. I would call and check up on her. I would find a way for us to have fun. I....but that's just it. I. I was doing everything and not realizing that she was doing nothing. BUT if there was ever a time that I could not deliver, there was a problem.

We spent a summer together and trust me the side of her I got was not the side I expected at all. She was rude. Snobby. Self absorbed. selfish. But I was understanding enough to forgive her. My mother, with whom I am very close gave me advice as to what to do. And as angry I was I could not confront her. I guess that's the price I pay for wanting to keep a friendship in tact. She even became so defensive and cold that I would hurt me to look at her, because of all the awful things I pictured. She was very abusive. Verbally and emotionally and though I thought I could let it go, it still cuts deep. It has been four months since I have seen or spoken to her. But I dont feel bad because I tried. She didnt. I guess the moral of the story is even though you put time and energy into something it will not necessarily put energy back into you.

Breathe Easy.