A couple days ago in class, my lecturer asked us to do an assignment where we would stand for a couple minutes and talk about ourselves. At first, she pointed out specific things that she wanted to know, then she reassigned and simply said "Who are you?" Funny thing, when she asked the question, I thought to myself, "I know exactly who I am!". While I might be wrong in thinking that I know who I am, I am correct in saying there's no one out there that knows me the way I know myself.
She started asking us about our personalities and how we came to be the way that we are. Mind you, the assignment is not yet due, and even if it was I would procrastinate because I am and will forever be a slacker. THAT, friends, is pretty much one sure thing I know about myself. I must admit though, that she made me think. Think about how I became the person that I am and how I'm finally comfortable with my personality. At least I think so....
Anyways, clearly you can see that I'm also a confused individual. I never fully make up my mind and I fear that's a weakness I have. I'm constantly at war in my mind and that's partly the reason I'm so crazy. Physically, I'm not exactly happy with the way I look but over the years, I've learned to accept it. Not saying that I'm a "crashed Honda" as a friend of mine so eloquently put it, nor am I an expensive luxury vehicle. I pride myself on being more of that kind of machine that works in any situation. I wont get into my physical insecurities because nobody cares enough to hear that, and I'm not here to depress you, but I mean, hey I could look A LOT worse, so thank God.
One thing though, I would never be who I am if not for some of the people and experiences I stumbled upon. I have learned something from every person and situation, EVERY SINGLE ONE. One thing that puzzles me though, is how people don't have their own personality. It's okay with me if you have a couple of them lying around, but what kind of bullshit person doesn't have a personality? At all? Listen up, yes there are traits you'll take from the people around you but that doesn't mean that you should do away with yourself completely. My lecturer said I'd be surprised at the number of people that have no personality to call their own.
Naturally, socialization makes you keep little bits and pieces of other people but, really wa gwaan fi your life doa? I'm sure you cannot be that significantly uncomfortable with yourself that you kill it and try to become another person. Maybe I'm being naive, but I just think a person should have something that's theirs and no one else's. Maybe I'm too mentally unstable to understand why people do this but I find it fascinating that its such an epidemic.
I'm about to leave you real soon, probably to go bitch about something I can't change or to wrap my mind around the complication that is the human race. I'm finding out who I am slowly but surely, but I just want to ask though, ARE YOU?
