I Realized

There comes a time in life when you realize who really matters and who never did. People who are truly tour friends and those that aren't. My mother used to say "No one has the ability to affect you like your friends." She also ensured me that friends, though great to have are not a necessity. There have been times in my life where I have done so much for friends all so that they can stab me in the back. And sometimes even the front, right in my face. When you put your all into a friendship it sometimes hurts to find out that you're the only one that's trying.

I had a friend that I met through another friend which I'm not friends with anymore. Get it? Anyway, me and this friend grew incredibly close and before you knew it we were inseparable. I would make an effort to be at every party, chill time, hang out, road trip there was. I would call and check up on her. I would find a way for us to have fun. I....but that's just it. I. I was doing everything and not realizing that she was doing nothing. BUT if there was ever a time that I could not deliver, there was a problem.

We spent a summer together and trust me the side of her I got was not the side I expected at all. She was rude. Snobby. Self absorbed. selfish. But I was understanding enough to forgive her. My mother, with whom I am very close gave me advice as to what to do. And as angry I was I could not confront her. I guess that's the price I pay for wanting to keep a friendship in tact. She even became so defensive and cold that I would hurt me to look at her, because of all the awful things I pictured. She was very abusive. Verbally and emotionally and though I thought I could let it go, it still cuts deep. It has been four months since I have seen or spoken to her. But I dont feel bad because I tried. She didnt. I guess the moral of the story is even though you put time and energy into something it will not necessarily put energy back into you.

Breathe Easy.