Diagnosed

Ever since I was younger I knew I was an odd person. Not odd in the sense that 'omg she's so weird and creepy'....wait I am kinda creepy. Anyways I could never tell what was wrong with me but as I grew older I realized what it was. With the help of a few good doctors, I was able to learn exactly why I was so odd. Let's have a seat for it, shall we?

OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder


Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Repetitive behaviors such as handwashing, counting, checking, or cleaning are often performed. Healthy people also have rituals, such as checking to see if the stove is off several times before leaving the house. The difference is that people with OCD perform their rituals even though doing so interferes with daily life and they find the repetition distressing. Although most adults with OCD recognize that what they are doing is senseless, some adults and most children may not realize that their behavior is out of the ordinary.

Some people may say that everyone has a bit of OCD but trust me, I have more than a little bit. You may not notice at first glance but I'm always washing my hands. That's my compulsion. I touch. I count. I wash hands. I have a certain routine I follow. Sometimes it gets so bad that I feel like if I don't stop something's gonna happen. It was recommended that I go to therapy but....that's another issue.

My OCD works this way:

1. I touch things. If I go into a room I have to touch at least one thing or I feel uncomfortable. On the flip side, there are also things I just CANNOT touch and things that I CANNOT allow to touch me.

2. I count. I count the number of steps from point A to point B or I count the number of minutes it takes me to do something. Example, when I get up in the morning, I check how long it takes me to shower, how long it takes me to brush my teeth (sometimes I count the brush strokes). I count my coins before I put them in my pocket or purse, I count the number of times I brush my hair. I count every pair of jeans I own every morning before I choose which one to wear.

3. I wash hands. I'm obsessed with clean hands. I have to wash my hands when I wake up, before I shower, after I brush my teeth, after I get dressed, when I get where I'm going, at least twice when I'm there, before and after I pee, before bed, before and after I eat and after handling money. I CANNOT FUNCTION WITH OR AROUND DIRTY HANDS. I freak out, which brings me back to why sometimes I cant be touched.

There's alot of things that irk me but I hardly think it's because of my disorder. I think the most severe compulsion is me washing my hands. I simply cannot go through the day without washing my hands. You know how some people wouldn't mind having dirty hands? Yeah, not me. I'm hoping these things don't get to so bad that I cant go about my daily life, or that would suck so bad. I'm taking it in stride. Is there medication for this? Hmm well I'm sure there's something I can get, until then you can find me in the sink, washing my hands!