No matter how much you think you've grown and changed, theres always that part of you that will never let something or someone go. You realize its not good for you to be hooked on your "eternal" but letting go just doesn't seem to happen as easy as you thought it would. You can fool yourself into thinking you're okay but in the end what will that help? You'll just be heartbroken and upset because you didnt realize things sooner.
A long time ago, I gave my heart away and I'm not quite sure I got it back. There was always that empty space I could not fill, no matter what I tried. Over the years, I slowly forgot about that empty space and it seemed to go away. Today I realized, that same empty space is still very much present and still very much empty. I'm not quite sure what it is that my empty heart wants, and trust and believe it will never tell me. At least, not for now. Some say, it's not my heart that's yearning; it's my body. Others say that I'm just ungrateful because I have a good life. Regardless of what others might think, when you feel it, nobody can tell you any different.
My empty space may never be filled, and frankly I think I need to be okay with that. The things that could have filled it, are long gone and even though it hurts, I may have to let it go and walk away from it all. Maybe I should just focus on the "here" and "now" and stop living in the past. What upsets me though, is the fact that I might have had that thing that could have filled me but I didnt know it, until it was too late. I'll know what it is when I finally get it though. Until then, wish me luck and for those still looking for it, happy hunting.
Adieu
